Codependency as defined by Pia Mellody, is a set of emotionally dysregulating symptoms caused by early childhood relational trauma. But it is possible to recover using hypnotherapy for codependency.
The American Psychologist describes these symptoms as a form of developmental immaturity, which can lead to a series of emotional problems in later life. These include problems experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem, setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, issues with reality, dependency needs, moderation and containment issues.
The results of these can lead to addictions, issues with anxiety and mood disorders, mental and physical health conditions, dysfunctional relationships, abusive behaviour and much more.
What is Relational Trauma?
During your early years of childhood, particularly from birth to 5 years old, your ability to regulate your own nervous system is very (if not completely) limited to co-regulation with your primary caregivers. At this age you are extremely vulnerable and unable to meet your own needs. Your parents are your safety barometer and you are reliant on them to help you feel safe, nurtured and valued.
This means that you are hyper-attuned to your parents and their nervous systems. If your caregivers are experiencing any form of dysregulation themselves, you will feel it as though it is your own nervous system response.
Of course this is a necessary survival mechanism that has evolved over millions of years. It is what forms the parent-child attachment bond and it allows us to communicate with our parent figures before we have developed speech. However, issues can arise when our parents are experiencing their own challenges with emotional regulation or trauma, which affects their ability to show up for our needs.
According to a study produced by Dr Susan Woodhouse et al, we only need our main primary caregiver to consistently meet our needs a minimum of 50% of the time in order to develop a secure attachment system. Problems arise when this parent is struggling due to family or relationship problems, mental or physical health issues, trauma, grief, addiction or any other emotional issues over prolonged periods of time.
The Core Symptoms of Codependency and Developmental Immaturity
If you’ve experienced relational trauma in childhood, you may be experiencing some of the following:
- Issues with low self-esteem and feeling less than others, or the opposite believing everyone is beneath you
- Problems setting boundaries or having boundaries that are too rigid and pushing people away
- Believing that you are bad or that you need to be good and perfect to be loveable
- Becoming too dependant on others, feeling needy or reliant on others for validation
- Or the opposite, being anti-dependent or needless and wantless
- Difficulty expressing own emotions appropriately, needing to control, manipulate or manage others’ emotions
- Issues with resentment, anger or rage
- Addictions or impulsive behaviours
- Mood disorders such as depression and anxiety, mental or physical health issues
- Feeling disconnected to yourself, your family, friends or community networks
- Problems experiencing healthy intimacy with others, pushing intimacy away, overindulging in sexual activities or engaging in risky sexual behaviour
- Dishonesty in the form of lying, hiding true emotions, secretive behaviour
- Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions, good and bad
- Being hypersensitive or fearful of intense feelings, emotions or situations
These are just some of the things you might experience if you are struggling with codependency in your adult life.
Is it Possible To Recover Using Hypnotherapy for Codependency?
Healing and recovering from codependency is possible through trauma focused therapy and learning. Dealing with the unresolved childhood or relational trauma with a qualified and trauma informed therapist, is the best way to recover from codependency.
Having trained in the PIT model developed by Pia Mellody, with The Meadows Arizona, I combine this with Cognitive Hypnotherapy to help people recover from codependency.
Through psycho-education, inner child healing and trauma resolution work, it is possible to heal from the symptoms of codependency. Learning to reparent yourself, meet your own needs, communicate boundaries and develop your self-esteem, can help heal unhealthy behaviours.
By learning to love yourself and advocate for your needs, it is absolutely possible to overcome addictions, break unhealthy relationship patterns and become your own best friend. I know this from my own recovery journey, and from helping hundreds of other people to heal from trauma too.
How to get in touch if you feel you need help with Hypnotherapy for Codependency:
If you’d like to discuss how I can help you with hypnotherapy for codependency, I offer a free 30 minute telephone consultation to see if this is the right course for you.
Remember, you’re not alone and what you are experiencing are symptoms of your early life experiences. You don’t have to suffer in silence and keep repeating the same cycles. Everyone deserves to live a life full of love and connection, don’t let the symptoms of codependency hold you back from the life you deserve.
You can book a free telephone consultation if you’d like to discuss how I can help you on your journey. You can also find other ways to connect with me via my contact page. If you’re ready to break free from codependent behaviours, I can’t wait to hear from you!